i've been reading blogs and online diaries and online journals and all those types of things for about a year. now i finally have one of my own. i've always thought in my head, "if i had an online thing that i wrote in on a regular basis, i would say thing 'blah blah blah' [insert actual content into the blahs]". now though, i feel self-concious about writing stuff. and my writing sounds so eloquent and sophisticated in my head. when i type it out though, it sounds like my little brother could have written it, in crayon, on paper with a dotted line dividing the writing space into a top part and a bottom part. i want to sound profound, but i'm not a profound person. i'm a tired, confused, 17 year old high school student. i try to sound smart when i write, i try to sound as if i know what i'm talking about. but i don't . i babble. i ramble. i misspell, often. i rebel by not capitalizing the letter 'i'.

i don't know what the purpose of this site is. i know that it is a portal to get to my design site, (which i need to finish updating, after starting once a while ago and never finishing, i need to make it prettier, i need to redo the design to make it load faster, i need to..., i need to..., i need to...) and i know it is a place for me to experiment with my web design and write my thoughts. but, i don't know if this is a blog, or if it's a diary, or if it's a web journal. i don't know what the difference between those three things is. i don't know if i want people i talk to in 'real life' to read this, or if i only want internet people to read this, (which is quite a quandry, since internet people are 'real people' too).

i want to know how many times a day i'm allowed to post to this. would people think i was weird if i posted every time i had a thought i wanted to share, or every time i found an intersting link? would it make more sense to only write once, at the end of the day, when i'm exhausted from homework and not in the mood to write long rambly messages, (such as this one).

i feel like this is a journal page i'm writing for my english class, in which my teacher expects us to write 70 notebook pages worth of our reactions to each book we read, (the marvels of advanced placement teachers). i'm "reflecting" on my day. i'm "reflecting" on my life. i'm "reflecting" on the world.

let the reflections begin.